School. We’re not allowed to go there now, nor is anyone else. Instead, we are online: we get tasks to complete each day. We are connected via different online programs to create classrooms or just to be connected to the teacher. It’s not what it was, obviously. But I was thinking today about some of the problems are: Why won’t they focus? Why do simple tasks seem insurmountable? Why the bad attitude? I know kids don’t always love being in school but I do wonder what exactly they’re missing out on? Then I started thinking about school and realizing that, really, for my kids anyways, we’re now missing the best part.
School has always been about learning, of course. Kids learn their lessons. But they also learn how to get on with different personalities, how to collaborate, how to listen and to speak up and when to choose which, how to communicate clearly, what other people like to eat, and what happens in other people’s homes or lives. Of course this isn’t an exhaustive list by any means. But the common thread here? Other people.
Yes, we have breaks, and we have fun. But I’m not other people. And there’s no monkey bars or football field. There are no foot-races or soccer games. There are 3 humans at the table at school time and no more.
What are the best parts of school? Seeing friends, seeing teachers, recess, and access to things we don’t have at home. Where do we meet most of our friends? Where we spend the bulk of our time, of course: our work friends or school friends we keep throughout our lives, long after we’ve graduated or moved on to different jobs or careers.
So what are we missing here? Here are just a few … Friends, teachers, break from home, joy of returning home, new people and their stories, diverse conversation, new experiences, exposure to new ideas and revisiting old ones, shared stories/jokes/experiences, competition, validation, reward of grades or approval, to see and be seen, walking the halls and seeing the artwork, lounging in communal areas, having your characteristics/gifts/talents be appreciated by others, being sparked or inspired, and/or watching people make their choices and see the outcomes.
I’m not sure what I’m meant to do about this. Yes, we can set up video calls or meetings and visit museums online but these are barely scratching the surface of an actual real-world real-time experience. For example, I believe kids can be excited to speak with one another on a call but likely couldn’t relax enough for meaningful chat during the call. A lot of the deeper conversations happen quietly in a corner somewhere. Or you can ponder an image of a piece of art, but you’re not going to be able to circle it, see how shadows and light fall upon it from different angles, or witness to the reactions it might incite from other admirers, which can add meaning, depth, and memory to the experience. And yes, we can stay physically fit, but we’re not involved in any kind of team camaraderie and there’s something to be said for sweating and working and trying so hard to win TOGETHER. Those shared experiences are rife with meaning, win or lose. I cannot think of a way to replicate or imitate the deeper school experiences for my kids. As an adult, and particularly as an expat, I have a means of connecting with others wherever they are in the world. I feel like, for the most part, grown-ups will be fine. Kids though, they’re too young to have their own phones, or even to ask for the phone numbers of their friends. And being new to the country/schools, they don’t even know the last names of their fellow students. It feels quite isolating.
I will continue to do my best for them. But I’m at a loss as to how to fill these gaps. You only get to be a kid the one time … and it’s an integral piece of the adult you become. I’m really hoping I don’t mess this up.
For now, I just want to share this in the hopes it might generate some empathy towards our little (or not-so-little) ones. Maybe we can come up with something brilliant. Usually, the answer isn’t imitating something we had before but creating something new for the current need … however long that need exists.
ninjachelsea 